Why We Are Writing About Trauma

Every Sunday, Denise sits in the third row. She sings, speaks to the people around her, and quietly leaves before the service ends. Most people probably do not notice. What no one sees is what happened to her fifteen years ago.

Some nights, she still wakes up around 3 a.m. thinking about the past. She has prayed more times than she can count but has never really talked about her experience at church. Part of the reason is not knowing what to say. Another part is wondering whether anyone would know how to respond.

Denise is not one person. Her story reflects what I have heard over the years through ministry and pastoral care. I change the names and identifying details because these stories are personal and deserve care. Her experience is still very real, and some readers may see themselves in it. I am writing this series for them.

What Is Trauma?

When we hear the word trauma, we sometimes think only about major disasters, war, or extreme violence. Trauma, however, can come from many different experiences. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration describes trauma as an event, series of events, or circumstances experienced as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that continue to affect a person’s well-being.

Abuse, violence, sudden loss, a serious accident, combat, a medical emergency, betrayal, or years of living without a sense of safety can all have a lasting impact. Two people can go through the same situation and respond very differently, so the effect on the person matters as much as the event itself.

For some, the event happened years ago, but the body still reacts as though the danger is present. A loud noise may cause someone to jump. Sleep may become difficult. Some people avoid certain places, people, conversations, or memories without fully understanding why.

Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk has spent decades studying trauma and how overwhelming experiences affect the brain, body, and nervous system. He explains something many survivors already know from experience: the mind may want to move forward while the body still responds to the past. A reaction like that is not a sign of weak faith or failed prayers. Painful experiences can leave emotional wounds, even as a person tries to heal.

Trauma can also affect a person’s relationship with God. Prayer may suddenly feel difficult. Worship songs that once brought comfort may bring unexpected tears. Someone can sit in church every Sunday and still feel far away from God. Questions often follow: Why did God allow this? Was God angry with me? Did I do something wrong? Where was God when this happened? Hurting people have asked these questions for generations, and I believe the church should be a safe place to ask them.

Why the Church?

People carrying trauma sit in churches every week. Some sit in the pews, while others sing on the praise team, serve in ministry, greet people at the door, raise children, care for family members, and do everything possible to keep moving forward. The people around them may have no idea what they carry beneath the surface.

Throughout the Bible, God’s people expressed their pain and suffering through prayer. David cried out to God throughout the Psalms. Job questioned God while sitting in the middle of unimaginable loss. Jeremiah wept over destruction and suffering. Jesus Himself came close to people who were hurting. When He stood in the synagogue in Nazareth, He read from Isaiah and declared, “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted” (Luke 4:18).

The psalmist writes, “The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18). I love this verse because God does not wait until everything has been fixed before drawing near. He is present while your heart is still broken.

Psychologist Diane Langberg has spent decades working with trauma survivors and challenging churches to move toward people who are suffering rather than becoming uncomfortable with their pain. I believe that is part of our responsibility as the body of Christ. Sometimes a hurting person does not need a quick answer. What may be needed most is someone willing to listen, pray without judgment, and sit with the pain.

Sometimes the most important thing we can do is remind someone that what happened has not removed them from God’s love. Paul writes that God “comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble” (2 Corinthians 1:4). We receive comfort, and then we learn how to comfort others.

Unfortunately, churches do not always respond well. A hurting person may hear “Just pray more,” “Everything happens for a reason,” “Forgive and move on,” or “Shouldn’t this be over by now?” Most people who say these things are not trying to cause harm. Often, they do not understand trauma. Even so, words like these can leave someone feeling more alone.

I want Light of the World Ministries International to be a place where people know they do not have to pretend. A person can love God and still be hurting, and still have questions. Prayer does not rule out counseling, and counseling does not replace prayer. Sometimes people continue worshiping while they are still trying to understand what happened and what healing will look like. Healing is not always immediate, and it does not always follow a straight line. Sometimes it happens one small step at a time.

What to Expect From This Series

Over the next several weeks, I will write about areas that come up frequently in trauma and pastoral care. In “Trauma and the Body,” we will explore why the body may keep reacting even when the mind wants to move forward. In “Crying Out to God,” we will talk about lament and why telling God the truth about pain is not a lack of faith. In “Learning to Trust Again,” we will look at relationships after trust has been broken. In “Shame After Abuse,” we will discuss separating what happened from personal identity. Finally, in “Trusting God After Harm,” we will take up one of the hardest questions survivors ask: Where was God?

Each post starts with a story like the ones I have encountered in pastoral care. From there, I connect the experience to Scripture and end with a few steps readers can take at their own pace. No one is expected to “get over it.” One prayer, sermon, or conversation will not fix everything, and in this series I want to make room for healing without pretense.

What These Posts Can and Cannot Do

I am writing this series from the perspective of pastoral counseling and ministry. My goal is to encourage, explain what trauma can look like, connect those experiences with Scripture, and remind readers that God has not abandoned them. These posts are not a replacement for professional therapy, medical treatment, or emergency care.

Sometimes one of the most faithful steps a person can take is asking for help. That help may come from a pastor, a trusted friend, a licensed counselor, or a therapist, and in some situations, several people may need to support someone together. If something in this series brings up emotions or memories that feel too heavy to carry alone, please reach out to someone you trust.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or thinking about self-harm, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Additional resources are listed on the Get Help page.

One Step for This Week

I want to end every post in this series with one step you can take. Healing does not have to happen all at once, and not everything has to make sense this week. One small step is enough.

If you saw part of yourself in Denise’s story, a first step could be to find a quiet moment and tell God about what happened. Speak the words aloud, write them down, or whisper them in prayer. They do not have to sound spiritual or beautifully written. God already knows what happened, and nothing you tell Him will surprise Him. Bringing that part of the story into His presence can be a first step toward healing.

For those reading because someone they love is hurting, the next step may look different. Reach out, send the text, make the phone call, or sit beside that person. Perfect words are not required. Sometimes what a hurting person most needs to hear is, “You do not have to go through this by yourself.”

Let us pray.

Lord, You are near to the brokenhearted. You see the wounds others cannot see, and the pain some have carried quietly for years. Meet every person reading this exactly where they are. Give them courage to take the next step toward healing. Surround them with people who will listen, pray, support them, and point them toward the help they need. Remind them that their pain has not separated them from Your love. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Sources

Langberg, Diane. Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores. Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2015.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. SAMHSA’s Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach. HHS Publication No. (SMA) 14-4884. Rockville, MD: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2014.

van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York: Viking, 2014.